Greg Chandler
02/13/17
February 14 is a red letter day for retailers. Even before the final vestiges of Christmas have left the shelves, candy hearts and all the accoutrements of Valentine’s Day beckon romantics to make a purchase for their “true love.” However, this yearly plunge into romance has little to do with what it truly means to be in love. As with all things, the real story is found within the pages of God’s word.
God is a romantic; there is no doubt about it. The first human to human relationship He created was marriage between a man and woman. He also describes His relationship with the faithful in a marital setting (see Revelation 21:2). When it comes to understanding romance, the true answer is not found in the greeting card aisle; it is found in God’s message to mankind.
Song of Solomon has long been a debated book. Jewish rabbis read into its pages an allegory depicting God and Israel. Later Christian thinkers kept the allegory idea, but changed the main characters to Christ and the church. While lessons can certainly be learned from both of these views, the book simply stands as God’s instructions on romance. With language that grows somewhat graphic on occasion, He teaches how and when romance should blossom and how this romance must never die away. Written by a poet, Song of Solomon has a style all its own and might best be described as a literary photo album, with scenes depicted from the lives of a man and woman in love. What do these ancient pictures teach to a modern world?
Do Not Stir Up or Awaken Love Until it Pleases
The only book in the Bible to open with a woman’s words, Song of Solomon shows passion from the beginning: “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! For your love is better than wine” (1:2). Physical desire permeates the chapters of this love story, with both the man and woman finding pleasure in one another; their compliments are of the highest praise in expressing delight in each other’s physical appearance. Oddly, some religious groups have sought to “play down” this type of attraction, with some going so far as to forbid marriage and marital union. They did not learn this from God! In His wisdom, God created man and woman to find one another physically appealing. He did, however, put this within boundaries. Though the woman of the story finds delight in her love, she knows that limitations exist. On several occasions when longing for her love, she states: “I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or the does of the field, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.” Both the man and woman refuse to allow their desire for one another to go beyond the God-given boundaries. This is well-illustrated in viewing their compliments for one another both before and after the wedding. On the wedding night, the language demonstrates much more familiarity with one another; the wedding gave them full right for “love to awaken.”
In a culture awash with sexual sin, it is important for Christians to learn a lesson on God’s view of romance. While physical attraction is important, it must never be the sole basis of a relationship nor should it to be allowed to run unbridled. The Bible is replete with lessons, warnings, and examples on the topic of sexual purity. Joining with the teachings found in Song of Solomon, biblical writers are in unison in delivering the inspired order to “wait until marriage.”
Your Name is Oil Poured Out
While physical attraction is important, the reader need only continue a short distance in the text to find that this is not the foundation of the couple’s relationship. While his physical appearance is attractive, she finds his character even more attractive. He has made a good name for himself; his reputation is one that is respected and she describes it as a sweet smelling fragrance. This is certainly not one-sided in that she has also taken measures to make a good name for herself by refusing to frequent places that could damage her reputation (1:7). He recognizes both her outward and inward beauty and lets her know that she is a lily among the thorns (2:1). Truly, they exhibit a respect both for themselves and one another.
Some have crassly labeled modern times as the “hook-up generation.” Little respect is shown for God’s plans for romance as couples abandon His rules and enter into relationships based solely on physical desire. Such demonstrates a lack of respect for oneself, the other person, and God. A solid relationship will never occur without the maturity to protect one’s reputation and seek another who does the same. It is only within this safe relationship that true love can flourish. It is only with this attitude that a couple will seek what the Lord desires of them.
I am Sick with Love
Song of Solomon follows the couple through their courtship and marriage, yet does not stop. A picture is given of a time when things were not pleasant and a disagreement led to problems (5:2ff). Angered by his actions, she does not allow him into her chamber. Contemplating on the matter, she determines that this was not the wisest course and seeks to let him in, only to find he has left. After a frantic search , she finds him and passionately restates her love. Holding no grudge, he does not scold or rebuke; his words are the same that he spoke to her on the night of their wedding as he reassures her of his love. Disagreement did not rob them of romance.
A look at the divorce rate of modern times illustrates the need for this lesson on romance. Every relationship will have its times of discord; disagreements occur and feelings are hurt. Real romance, however, is strong enough to weather these storms. God’s romance is not based solely on personal feelings; it is built on a desire to help each other. This strength will deliver through hard times and provoke a maturity that does not leave a path of destruction in its wake.
Conclusion
Enjoy the “day of romance” this week. Eat the candy, sniff the flowers, and find humor in all the capitalistic love. Remember, though, that true romance is from God and He has provided the blueprint for how a real relationship is formed. May every man and woman who has begun this journey into godly romance never look back; may each couple find and keep this precious and golden gift from God.