The Silent Killer
Doctors sometimes refer to high blood pressure as “the silent killer” because people often do not know they have it until the damage happens. This article is not about our physical health, but instead, is about another silent killer condemned in the Scriptures, which is “bitterness.” Like high blood pressure, it often goes unnoticed by others, and sometimes a person who has this spiritual “disorder” may not fully realize it. Therefore, it is essential for us to “put on the cuff” from time to time and check our “bitterness level.”
We speak of something being bitter when it has a sharp or unpleasant taste. Mentally, however, bitterness is ongoing pain, hurt, and mental anguish felt by people due to past events or circumstances. It is resentment held on to — a resentment that has become rancid and rotten. It is said, “bitterness is loss frozen in resentment.” It grows out of a refusal to let go when someone or something is taken from us. People get hurt because of difficult circumstances, events, or other people; they hold on to that hurt, and it turns into bitterness.
Naomi, from the Old Testament, serves as an example of a person who became bitter due to various setbacks in life. In the book of Ruth, we learn that Naomi, along with her husband and two sons, went to Moab to live because of a famine in Judah. Her sons married two women — Orpah and Ruth. Over time, her husband and two sons died. Naomi’s losses made her bitter. She said, “Do not call me Naomi; call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me. I went out full, and the Lord has brought me home again empty. Why do you call me Naomi, since the Lord has testified against me, and the Almighty has afflicted me?” (Ruth 1:20-21). The name Naomi signifies “pleasant” or “amicable”; the name Mara, which she wanted to be called, means “bitter.” Note above the number of times in these two verses, that she blamed God for her misfortunes. Naomi allowed her losses to cause her to become bitter. Often, people allow difficult circumstances to cause them to become bitter against others and, sometimes, even against God.
Hannah is another Old Testament example of bitterness. She was married to Elkanah, who had another wife besides her. Hannah was unable to bear a child and was very sad as a result. Elkanah’s other wife was able to have children, which seemed to cause resentment between the two women. Although Elkanah treated Hannah very well and loved her dearly, she deeply grieved, and he could not console her. According to I Samuel 1:10, she was in “bitterness of soul.” This situation is another example of the circumstances of life, causing bitterness. To Hannah’s credit, however, she turned to the Lord during this challenging time. She asked God for a child, which she would give to the Lord, and God granted her request.
Hebrews 12:15 is one of several New Testament passages that warn against bitterness. It says, “looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled.” A “root of bitterness,” like the root of a tree, can be below the surface and not detectable by others. Eventually, it will show itself, producing the fruits of bitterness, such as evil speaking, anger, and hatred. Bitterness, as the text says, can defile others, as well. It can hurt relationships and can even cause disunity within a congregation.
Colossians 3:19 speaks of the danger of bitterness within marriage as it says, “Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.” Instead of having resentment toward his wife, he is to love her. When bitterness exists, proper love is lacking. Problems often occur between a husband and a wife, and when issues go unsettled, ill feelings can fester into resentment and bitterness. Some disagreements need to be discussed and resolved, but minor differences should be quickly forgotten. Sometimes couples need to learn how to “forget about it” or to “get over it.” If not, bitterness can develop, which can destroy any relationship, especially a marriage.
Bitterness is a sin, and we must put it away. Ephesians 4:31 says, “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.” Sometimes a person will say, “With what has happened to me, I have a right to be bitter.” The Bible says you do not. Some people, for example, say they cannot stop gambling, committing fornication, or drinking. It may be difficult, but people can stop these sins. In the same way, although it may not be easy, people can get rid of bitterness. God does not require the impossible.
How do we put away bitterness? Ephesians 4:32 makes it clear we should replace it with kindness, forgiveness, and compassion. We need to have enough understanding and compassion in our hearts, so there is no room for bitterness. The verse also tells us we are to forgive one another, “even as God in Christ’s forgave you.” Sometimes it is tough to forgive, but we must. Even if a person will not repent, the Bible teaches that we are to love our enemies (Mt. 5:43-44) and that we are to overcome evil with good (Rom. 12:17-21). Finally, we must repent and pray (Acts 8:22) to receive forgiveness.
Many of life’s dealings can cause bitterness: the deaths of loved ones, sickness, difficult circumstances, people hurting, or mistreating us in some way. We must realize that life is full of hurts; it always will be. We must never allow ourselves to be the “victims” of other people’s offenses. Bitterness has been called “the nest that the devil digs into our soul.” For our good and the good of others, we should put it away.
