Greg Chandler
12/11/14
A noted characteristic of the Apostle Paul’s writings is his propensity for lists. To make his point, Paul often included numerous characteristics to describe the topic under consideration. One such list is found in Paul’s second letter to Timothy as he described the problems that would plague the last days. The vices that compose this list fit neatly together, such as lovers of self showing conceit and the ungrateful demonstrating heartlessness. Tucked in the middle of this list, however, is a phrase that seems alien to the others – “disobedient to parents.” Compared to the other characteristics, this particular “evil” sounds quite mild. Surface reasoning is superfluous in this case and a closer inspection of the problem reveals a foundation stone in a life given to denial of godliness.
Being brought up by a Jewish mother, Timothy certainly would have been aware of the seriousness of a lack of parental respect since such a disrespectful youth would bear serious consequences under the Law of Moses. Concerning this, the law stated, “If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, and, though they discipline him, will not listen to them, then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city at the gate of the place where he lives, and they shall say to the elders of his city, ‘This our son is stubborn and rebellious; he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.’ Then all the men of the city shall stone him to death with stones. So you shall purge the evil from your midst, and all Israel shall hear, and fear” (Deuteronomy 21:1821). This law was not for a single youthful indiscretion or for a moment of temporary disrespect. Such action was reserved for the youth who refused to exercise the proper attitude and decorum toward his parents. The Lord knew that the child who scoffed at his earthly mother and father would surely reject his Heavenly Father as well.
Though the Mosaic Law was not brought forward into the New Testament, the Lord still expects an attitude of respect from the young. The Apostle Paul wrote, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right” (Ephesians 6:1). Respect must typify a child’s relationship with parents. This passage, written to young people who have reached an age of understanding, provides one of their first major spiritual tests. Note that this action is not based on the attitude or action of the child’s parents. The Lord does not tell young people to show respect as long as parental actions meet their approval. He does not even provide a caveat for children who are raised by non-Christian parents. The Lord’s command requires children to develop a spirit of submission to parents that is essential in learning how to submit to God. In fact, the primary reason for a child’s obedience is to please Him (obey “in the Lord”).
A child’s failure to respect his or her parents will set a tone that can prove detrimental since it is highly unlikely that a disrespectful child will ever fully respect God. Failure to respect God means that life will be lived in worldly ways, with little attention paid to the qualities needed in order to bear the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-25). Young people must ponder this thought with great sobriety. There is often strong temptation to become rebellious toward parents in the tween and teen years and, in current culture, there is almost an expectation that this happen. For a young person seeking godliness, this trend will be avoided. Though disagreements will occur, the godly child will remember the authority of parents and the need to respect this authority. Such disagreements will be handled with great respect and ungodliness will not be manifest. This will be difficult, yet the child who develops such an attitude will find service to God much easier. There will be occasions where the will of the Heavenly Father may be different from what one might initially desire to pursue. In such cases, the training and discipline learned in the home will build a foundation for the respect given to the authority of God. Each respectful conclusion to a disagreement with parents will bolster the successful relationship the child can have with the Lord.
Parents must insist on such behavior from children. This is made much easier when both parents are pursuing godliness and illustrating a willing submission to the Lord. Children raised in such a home will see a living example of the kind of attitude that the Lord expects. It is for this reason that Paul wrote, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). Children who are constantly allowed to have their way will have great difficulty learning the discipline that the Lord expects and requires. For parents of headstrong children, this will mean that a number of battles must be fought and fought consistently. There is no gain in a “strong one minute but weak the next” approach. Parents must always realize that they are ultimately helping their children develop a spirit that will surrender to and honor the Lord. This will be a wearying pursuit with a strong temptation to give up and give in, but the parents who desire what is spiritually best for their children will willingly fight the good fight.
Is the phrase “disobedient to parents” out of place in Paul’s list? Absolutely not! Paul well understood that a life lived for God or for wickedness begins early. He understood that the earliest tests for young people will have a tremendous impact on their lifelong spirituality. For both children and parents, there is great importance in creating a home where respect is given and parents are honored. Such will have an impact on whether or not a home will ultimately be found with the Father in Heaven.